The back-to-school sales have already been on for a few weeks now, reminding parents that school is about to begin for another year. But there is more to think about at this time than just new clothes and school supplies for the kids. It is also time to think about re-establishing household routines for the new academic year. Throughout the summer bedtimes have been relaxed as the youngsters could sleep in every day, and curfews may have been lengthened due to the longer days as well as that same ability to sleep in. Now that those days are almost gone, parents should use the start of the new school year to review the rules and perhaps, for the teenagers, to modify them slightly.
Many parents seem to want to ignore the fact that their children are getting older, and so do not modify their household rules until there is a problem. This is definitely the hard way. Even harder is to not make any rules at all. Teenagers need the safety and security that a set of rules gives them and they always prefer to know where the boundaries are. For these reasons it is most effective for parents to sit down with their teens at the start of each year and ask them what rules they might want to change. It is my experience that teenagers respect this process and rarely try to abuse it. If the changes they propose are agreeable, then set the rules accordingly and do not modify them until the end of the school year. If you cannot accept the suggestions, then try to find a compromise, then set the guidelines.
This process shows the teens that you respect their input and they will be much more inclined to accept the rules when they feel respected and have input into setting them. Some of the areas to cover are curfews, cell phone use, bedtimes, homework times, computer times and video game times. Try to keep in mind that teenagers need an average of 9.25 hours sleep a night. Another key point is to recognize that teenage sleep patterns are very different from that of adults and younger children. They have a wake cycle around 10 PM each night and a sleep cycle that hits around 6 –7 AM each morning. This makes them hard to get to bed and even harder to wake up. Parents should not be discouraged by this – it is the nature of their young bodies. Instead insist that they at least be in bed at the correct time, even if they cannot fall asleep then. Let them read if they want to but do not give in to their entreaties to stay up longer. In the morning be patient and persistent. It is useless to get angry when they don’t leap instantly out of bed. Just keep after them until they do.
All teenagers need guidelines to live by, just as adults must follow the laws of their country and the regulations of their businesses. Teens need to learn this and the best approach is to involve them in the rule-setting process, then ensure that these rules are enforced with appropriate penalties when they occasionally get broken. The whole family will benefit from this process.