The recent news about Britney Spears’ New Years Eve folly of briefly marrying her long-time friend, then immediately having the marriage annulled, makes most parents nod wisely and cast disparaging remarks about the maturity of young stars. It’s an “I told you so” kind of attitude, as parents are generally wary of having their young teenagers star-stuck by these glamorous young idols. They worry about their youngsters imitating these stars ways of dressing and acting and so take every opportunity to point out their flaws and foibles. Unfortunately this approach will only increase the generation gap between parents and their teens.
Rather than taking every available chance to discourage your teenagers from idolizing Britney, JLo or Beyonce, use the stories of their follies as a conversation starter to discuss the problems of being a star and the reasons why stardom is so difficult. These stories can be utilized as “teachable moments” to discuss issues that are normally difficult to talk about. If a star gets caught using drugs, use the story to ask your teen about drug use in his or her peer group. Rather than lecturing on the evils of drugs, discuss why people use them and try to get your teens to talk about their ideas about drugs. Similarly if a famous person is caught in a sexual encounter, ask your teen their opinion of this story and use it as an entry point into a discussion about premarital sex.
The trick is to get the teen talking about these difficult subjects rather than upsetting them by criticizing their heroes. It’s a delicate balance, but if you can create situations where you and your teens can talk about any subject, using Britney -type stories as a starting point, then the teens will learn that they can talk openly to you and will come to you when they need advice in these areas.